dailydot
dailydot:

Sammy and Blackbeard
by E.A. Weiss



Blackbeard: Where am I? What’s going on?

Sammy: I brought you back from the dead to do a report on you.

Blackbeard: How?! What?! I don’t—

Sammy: We have to compare ourselves to someone we’re like in history.

Blackbeard: What do you mean—

Sammy: Hold on let me start recording. (click) This is Sammy Goldberg’s interview for Mrs. Henry’s 6th grade history class.

Blackbeard: What is that contraption?

Sammy: Mr. Blackbeard, I personally know how hard pirating can be; what kept you happy when you were alive?

Blackbeard: You’re a pirate?

Sammy: I pirate all the time.

Blackbeard: What do you pillage? What do you plunder?

Sammy: All types of music.

Blackbeard: What—

Sammy: And sometimes TV shows, but don’t tell my dad because he already thinks I take up too much bandwidth.

Blackbeard: I’m afraid I don’t—

Sammy: Anyway, what would you do in your free time?

Blackbeard: I’d count gold, cook meals, drink rum, and play games with the crew—

Sammy: Me too! Jeez, we’re so alike. Do you like Call of Duty?

Blackbeard: What is that?

Sammy: Very funny, Mr. Blackbeard. Okay, next question: How do you get a pretty girl to like you and do you think it’s a good sign if you get invited to her Bat Mitzvah?

Blackbeard: A woman’s heart is the one thing I was never able to steal.

Sammy: Oh, I’m sorry, that was insensitive. How did you get boys to like you?

Blackbeard: You have to be hard on a crew of rowdy pirates, but not too hard because those seamen need to last a long time.

Sammy: Let’s keep it PG-13, Mr. Blackbeard, I’m only in 6th grade! (laughs) So you died in the U.S., but were actually from England. What was that like?

Blackbeard: Um, not great.

Sammy: Was it similar to the feeling you get when a pretty girl, let’s say her name is Sarah, turns you down for a dance in front of everyone?

Blackbeard: I don’t think you under—

Sammy: Or, did it feel like you ate too many nachos at your mom’s boyfriend’s Super Bowl party and threw up all over his new leather couch?

Blackbeard: I’m confus—

Sammy: Maybe it felt like the time you fell in the mud at lunch, but Aaron Johnson decided to tell the whole class that you had a “bathroom accident” and now everyone calls you Brownbutt. Did it feel like that?

Blackbeard: Is that why I’m here?

Sammy: What? No. What do you mean?

Blackbeard: Because of our nicknames? Brownbutt’s not so bad. I had a man on board who was so ugly and bumpy that everyone called him Goiter.

Sammy: That’s awf—

Blackbeard: But that just meant our enemies underestimated him. He killed hundreds of adversaries because no one thought the boily incest puddle of a man would be able to fight.

Sammy: He killed—

Blackbeard: So, my advice would be to murder hundreds of men. That’s how you’ll get Aaron’s respect.

Sammy: Um…

Blackbeard: What?

Sammy: Nothing, nothing. I’ll just say you told me, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

Blackbeard: Words? Of course Words can hurt you! He also killed hundreds of men. Even children! You’re talking about the mute pirate we had on board, right? Yeah, he’d definitely hurt you.

Sammy: This seems like a good time to end the interview.
Follow E.A. Weiss on Twitter. Illustration by Jason Reed.

dailydot:

Sammy and Blackbeard

by E.A. Weiss



Blackbeard: Where am I? What’s going on?

Sammy: I brought you back from the dead to do a report on you.

Blackbeard: How?! What?! I don’t—

Sammy: We have to compare ourselves to someone we’re like in history.

Blackbeard: What do you mean—

Sammy: Hold on let me start recording. (click) This is Sammy Goldberg’s interview for Mrs. Henry’s 6th grade history class.

Blackbeard: What is that contraption?

Sammy: Mr. Blackbeard, I personally know how hard pirating can be; what kept you happy when you were alive?

Blackbeard: You’re a pirate?

Sammy: I pirate all the time.

Blackbeard: What do you pillage? What do you plunder?

Sammy: All types of music.

Blackbeard: What—

Sammy: And sometimes TV shows, but don’t tell my dad because he already thinks I take up too much bandwidth.

Blackbeard: I’m afraid I don’t—

Sammy: Anyway, what would you do in your free time?

Blackbeard: I’d count gold, cook meals, drink rum, and play games with the crew—

Sammy: Me too! Jeez, we’re so alike. Do you like Call of Duty?

Blackbeard: What is that?

Sammy: Very funny, Mr. Blackbeard. Okay, next question: How do you get a pretty girl to like you and do you think it’s a good sign if you get invited to her Bat Mitzvah?

Blackbeard: A woman’s heart is the one thing I was never able to steal.

Sammy: Oh, I’m sorry, that was insensitive. How did you get boys to like you?

Blackbeard: You have to be hard on a crew of rowdy pirates, but not too hard because those seamen need to last a long time.

Sammy: Let’s keep it PG-13, Mr. Blackbeard, I’m only in 6th grade! (laughs) So you died in the U.S., but were actually from England. What was that like?

Blackbeard: Um, not great.

Sammy: Was it similar to the feeling you get when a pretty girl, let’s say her name is Sarah, turns you down for a dance in front of everyone?

Blackbeard: I don’t think you under—

Sammy: Or, did it feel like you ate too many nachos at your mom’s boyfriend’s Super Bowl party and threw up all over his new leather couch?

Blackbeard: I’m confus—

Sammy: Maybe it felt like the time you fell in the mud at lunch, but Aaron Johnson decided to tell the whole class that you had a “bathroom accident” and now everyone calls you Brownbutt. Did it feel like that?

Blackbeard: Is that why I’m here?

Sammy: What? No. What do you mean?

Blackbeard: Because of our nicknames? Brownbutt’s not so bad. I had a man on board who was so ugly and bumpy that everyone called him Goiter.

Sammy: That’s awf—

Blackbeard: But that just meant our enemies underestimated him. He killed hundreds of adversaries because no one thought the boily incest puddle of a man would be able to fight.

Sammy: He killed—

Blackbeard: So, my advice would be to murder hundreds of men. That’s how you’ll get Aaron’s respect.

Sammy: Um…

Blackbeard: What?

Sammy: Nothing, nothing. I’ll just say you told me, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

Blackbeard: Words? Of course Words can hurt you! He also killed hundreds of men. Even children! You’re talking about the mute pirate we had on board, right? Yeah, he’d definitely hurt you.

Sammy: This seems like a good time to end the interview.


Follow E.A. Weiss on Twitter. Illustration by Jason Reed.

dailydot
dailydot:

Sammy and Blackbeard
by E.A. Weiss



Blackbeard: Where am I? What’s going on?

Sammy: I brought you back from the dead to do a report on you.

Blackbeard: How?! What?! I don’t—

Sammy: We have to compare ourselves to someone we’re like in history.

Blackbeard: What do you mean—

Sammy: Hold on let me start recording. (click) This is Sammy Goldberg’s interview for Mrs. Henry’s 6th grade history class.

Blackbeard: What is that contraption?

Sammy: Mr. Blackbeard, I personally know how hard pirating can be; what kept you happy when you were alive?

Blackbeard: You’re a pirate?

Sammy: I pirate all the time.

Blackbeard: What do you pillage? What do you plunder?

Sammy: All types of music.

Blackbeard: What—

Sammy: And sometimes TV shows, but don’t tell my dad because he already thinks I take up too much bandwidth.

Blackbeard: I’m afraid I don’t—

Sammy: Anyway, what would you do in your free time?

Blackbeard: I’d count gold, cook meals, drink rum, and play games with the crew—

Sammy: Me too! Jeez, we’re so alike. Do you like Call of Duty?

Blackbeard: What is that?

Sammy: Very funny, Mr. Blackbeard. Okay, next question: How do you get a pretty girl to like you and do you think it’s a good sign if you get invited to her Bat Mitzvah?

Blackbeard: A woman’s heart is the one thing I was never able to steal.

Sammy: Oh, I’m sorry, that was insensitive. How did you get boys to like you?

Blackbeard: You have to be hard on a crew of rowdy pirates, but not too hard because those seamen need to last a long time.

Sammy: Let’s keep it PG-13, Mr. Blackbeard, I’m only in 6th grade! (laughs) So you died in the U.S., but were actually from England. What was that like?

Blackbeard: Um, not great.

Sammy: Was it similar to the feeling you get when a pretty girl, let’s say her name is Sarah, turns you down for a dance in front of everyone?

Blackbeard: I don’t think you under—

Sammy: Or, did it feel like you ate too many nachos at your mom’s boyfriend’s Super Bowl party and threw up all over his new leather couch?

Blackbeard: I’m confus—

Sammy: Maybe it felt like the time you fell in the mud at lunch, but Aaron Johnson decided to tell the whole class that you had a “bathroom accident” and now everyone calls you Brownbutt. Did it feel like that?

Blackbeard: Is that why I’m here?

Sammy: What? No. What do you mean?

Blackbeard: Because of our nicknames? Brownbutt’s not so bad. I had a man on board who was so ugly and bumpy that everyone called him Goiter.

Sammy: That’s awf—

Blackbeard: But that just meant our enemies underestimated him. He killed hundreds of adversaries because no one thought the boily incest puddle of a man would be able to fight.

Sammy: He killed—

Blackbeard: So, my advice would be to murder hundreds of men. That’s how you’ll get Aaron’s respect.

Sammy: Um…

Blackbeard: What?

Sammy: Nothing, nothing. I’ll just say you told me, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

Blackbeard: Words? Of course Words can hurt you! He also killed hundreds of men. Even children! You’re talking about the mute pirate we had on board, right? Yeah, he’d definitely hurt you.

Sammy: This seems like a good time to end the interview.
Follow E.A. Weiss on Twitter. Illustration by Jason Reed.

dailydot:

Sammy and Blackbeard

by E.A. Weiss



Blackbeard: Where am I? What’s going on?

Sammy: I brought you back from the dead to do a report on you.

Blackbeard: How?! What?! I don’t—

Sammy: We have to compare ourselves to someone we’re like in history.

Blackbeard: What do you mean—

Sammy: Hold on let me start recording. (click) This is Sammy Goldberg’s interview for Mrs. Henry’s 6th grade history class.

Blackbeard: What is that contraption?

Sammy: Mr. Blackbeard, I personally know how hard pirating can be; what kept you happy when you were alive?

Blackbeard: You’re a pirate?

Sammy: I pirate all the time.

Blackbeard: What do you pillage? What do you plunder?

Sammy: All types of music.

Blackbeard: What—

Sammy: And sometimes TV shows, but don’t tell my dad because he already thinks I take up too much bandwidth.

Blackbeard: I’m afraid I don’t—

Sammy: Anyway, what would you do in your free time?

Blackbeard: I’d count gold, cook meals, drink rum, and play games with the crew—

Sammy: Me too! Jeez, we’re so alike. Do you like Call of Duty?

Blackbeard: What is that?

Sammy: Very funny, Mr. Blackbeard. Okay, next question: How do you get a pretty girl to like you and do you think it’s a good sign if you get invited to her Bat Mitzvah?

Blackbeard: A woman’s heart is the one thing I was never able to steal.

Sammy: Oh, I’m sorry, that was insensitive. How did you get boys to like you?

Blackbeard: You have to be hard on a crew of rowdy pirates, but not too hard because those seamen need to last a long time.

Sammy: Let’s keep it PG-13, Mr. Blackbeard, I’m only in 6th grade! (laughs) So you died in the U.S., but were actually from England. What was that like?

Blackbeard: Um, not great.

Sammy: Was it similar to the feeling you get when a pretty girl, let’s say her name is Sarah, turns you down for a dance in front of everyone?

Blackbeard: I don’t think you under—

Sammy: Or, did it feel like you ate too many nachos at your mom’s boyfriend’s Super Bowl party and threw up all over his new leather couch?

Blackbeard: I’m confus—

Sammy: Maybe it felt like the time you fell in the mud at lunch, but Aaron Johnson decided to tell the whole class that you had a “bathroom accident” and now everyone calls you Brownbutt. Did it feel like that?

Blackbeard: Is that why I’m here?

Sammy: What? No. What do you mean?

Blackbeard: Because of our nicknames? Brownbutt’s not so bad. I had a man on board who was so ugly and bumpy that everyone called him Goiter.

Sammy: That’s awf—

Blackbeard: But that just meant our enemies underestimated him. He killed hundreds of adversaries because no one thought the boily incest puddle of a man would be able to fight.

Sammy: He killed—

Blackbeard: So, my advice would be to murder hundreds of men. That’s how you’ll get Aaron’s respect.

Sammy: Um…

Blackbeard: What?

Sammy: Nothing, nothing. I’ll just say you told me, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

Blackbeard: Words? Of course Words can hurt you! He also killed hundreds of men. Even children! You’re talking about the mute pirate we had on board, right? Yeah, he’d definitely hurt you.

Sammy: This seems like a good time to end the interview.


Follow E.A. Weiss on Twitter. Illustration by Jason Reed.

neuromorphogenesis
neuromorphogenesis:

Enough is Enough – Amphetamines for Toddlers is a Travesty.
Alan Schwarz writes, in the New York Times, May 17, 2014 - “Thousands of Toddlers Are Medicated for A.D.H.D., Report Finds, Raising Worries”. We are talking about two and three year old children, 10,000 of them, drugged with amphetamines. This is not some bad sci-fi movie. This is America 2014. 
It was invented by the American Psychiatric Association and Big Pharma. They have successfully indoctrinated the culture at large that our children are beset by genetic and biological diseases. And the treatment is psychoactivedrugs. We are told that 11% of all children between 4 and 17 have ADHD. One in five boys are prescribed amphetamines at some point in their lives. Adderall is actually approved by the FDA for children between 4 and 6.
Amphetamines are dangerous, destructive, and addictive drugs – for adults, for the malleable brains of teenagers, for the developing brains of children, never mind the brains of two and three year olds. We have enough trouble keeping teenagers off of drugs, including speed. Does it sound like a good idea to start them off at two? How did we ever get to this point that giving amphetamines to toddlers is even a remote consideration?
This comes from a destructive house of cards that keeps growing and growing and growing. It started with the belief that our psychiatric conditions are diseases, and that human suffering can be cured by a pill. Once this false belief took hold then it was just a matter of time that they traced these ‘diseases’ further and further back to pick them up earlier and earlier, now at age two.
Psychiatric problems in childhood is not a disease. The human condition and human suffering is the same now as it has been all throughout history. All psychiatric problems of children, adolescents and adults derive from the unique temperament of each child digesting the actuality of responsiveness, deprivation, and abuse to form their character. It is a human problem.
The best way to prevent psychiatric struggles in children is to raise them well. This is facilitated by the good enough provision of boundaries and love. This is hard enough in intact families and is often problematic anyway. And we now live in a time with enormous social problems where children are subject to broken families, single parenthood, divorce, alcoholism, drug addiction, and fragmented and often dangerous communities. Well meaning parents frequently lack the resources, emotional and otherwise, for the toughest job of all, raising our children.
For children, it is a family problem that requires the provision of boundaries and love as its therapy. Drugging our children is not the answer. The “Super Nanny” demonstrates this every week on television. Out of control, violent children, who would normally be diagnosed with ADHD are transformed before our eyes into the regular and loving children they actually are. Magical shortcuts and fantasies of quick fixes, with drugs do not work. And as far as toddlers on speed, as Dr. Nancy Rappaport says at the end of the article, “It’s a travesty.”
But it still reflects the hidden cultural indoctrination about ‘biological diseases’ and drugs itself, which is embedded in the writing. For instance Schwarz says, “Experts strongly criticized the use of medication in so many children that young” How about criticizing drugs for toddlers period, not so many’, any. It is said that amphetamines are OK for situations “that have become so stressful that the family could be destroyed.” There are otherwise balanced and reasonable people who say we need studies on toddlers to see if amphetamines are safe. We don’t need studies on toddlers and amphetamines. Shockingly, there already have been studies on three year olds. Not surprisingly, the studies at NIMH had significant financial ties to the pharmaceutical industry that make amphetamines.
by Robert Berezin, M.D. on Psychology Today.

As a pharmacy tech, it breaks my heart to see scripts for young children claiming ADD/ADHD. I have a 4 year old and could never drug him to make him behave or calm down or whatever reason these parents have for medicating their poor youngsters. Let the kids be kids, dammit!

neuromorphogenesis:

Enough is Enough – Amphetamines for Toddlers is a Travesty.

Alan Schwarz writes, in the New York Times, May 17, 2014 - “Thousands of Toddlers Are Medicated for A.D.H.D., Report Finds, Raising Worries”. We are talking about two and three year old children, 10,000 of them, drugged with amphetamines. This is not some bad sci-fi movie. This is America 2014. 

It was invented by the American Psychiatric Association and Big Pharma. They have successfully indoctrinated the culture at large that our children are beset by genetic and biological diseases. And the treatment is psychoactivedrugs. We are told that 11% of all children between 4 and 17 have ADHD. One in five boys are prescribed amphetamines at some point in their lives. Adderall is actually approved by the FDA for children between 4 and 6.

Amphetamines are dangerous, destructive, and addictive drugs – for adults, for the malleable brains of teenagers, for the developing brains of children, never mind the brains of two and three year olds. We have enough trouble keeping teenagers off of drugs, including speed. Does it sound like a good idea to start them off at two? How did we ever get to this point that giving amphetamines to toddlers is even a remote consideration?

This comes from a destructive house of cards that keeps growing and growing and growing. It started with the belief that our psychiatric conditions are diseases, and that human suffering can be cured by a pill. Once this false belief took hold then it was just a matter of time that they traced these ‘diseases’ further and further back to pick them up earlier and earlier, now at age two.

Psychiatric problems in childhood is not a disease. The human condition and human suffering is the same now as it has been all throughout history. All psychiatric problems of children, adolescents and adults derive from the unique temperament of each child digesting the actuality of responsiveness, deprivation, and abuse to form their character. It is a human problem.

The best way to prevent psychiatric struggles in children is to raise them well. This is facilitated by the good enough provision of boundaries and love. This is hard enough in intact families and is often problematic anyway. And we now live in a time with enormous social problems where children are subject to broken families, single parenthood, divorce, alcoholism, drug addiction, and fragmented and often dangerous communities. Well meaning parents frequently lack the resources, emotional and otherwise, for the toughest job of all, raising our children.

For children, it is a family problem that requires the provision of boundaries and love as its therapy. Drugging our children is not the answer. The “Super Nanny” demonstrates this every week on television. Out of control, violent children, who would normally be diagnosed with ADHD are transformed before our eyes into the regular and loving children they actually are. Magical shortcuts and fantasies of quick fixes, with drugs do not work. And as far as toddlers on speed, as Dr. Nancy Rappaport says at the end of the article, “It’s a travesty.”

But it still reflects the hidden cultural indoctrination about ‘biological diseases’ and drugs itself, which is embedded in the writing. For instance Schwarz says, “Experts strongly criticized the use of medication in so many children that young” How about criticizing drugs for toddlers period, not so many’, any. It is said that amphetamines are OK for situations “that have become so stressful that the family could be destroyed.” There are otherwise balanced and reasonable people who say we need studies on toddlers to see if amphetamines are safe. We don’t need studies on toddlers and amphetamines. Shockingly, there already have been studies on three year olds. Not surprisingly, the studies at NIMH had significant financial ties to the pharmaceutical industry that make amphetamines.

by Robert Berezin, M.D. on Psychology Today.

As a pharmacy tech, it breaks my heart to see scripts for young children claiming ADD/ADHD. I have a 4 year old and could never drug him to make him behave or calm down or whatever reason these parents have for medicating their poor youngsters. Let the kids be kids, dammit!